“Why are we living like paupers?”

My friend’s question caught me off guard. We were having our usual weekly dinner at our favourite swanky Chinese restaurant. I was enjoying my RM25 fried rice and she was delicately placing ginger on a xiao long pau. (RM18 for five tiny pieces.)

My friend and I spend good money on good food. We don’t even blink when we pay the bill.

But we are absolute misers with our homes.

I won’t go into detail about my friend’s accommodation, but I can tell you about mine.

I’ve hated living in it for a very long time. Let me count the ways:

My neighbours are extremely noisy. Their children scream, yell and cry all day, and before you say anything, no, they are not disabled, just very spoiled. The parents do nothing to control their children. I’ve talked to them many times, lodged complaints, but to no avail. The screaming invades my bedroom and living room. I end up having to wear sound-cancelling headphones all day, but this is not a permanent solution. I could never escape the noise or rest.

I have no control over my living space. I’m a minimalist living in a maximalist space. Many of the things in there don’t belong to me, so I can’t get rid of them. Staring at the clutter stresses the hell out of me.

I want a balcony garden. Living in a box apartment without a space for growing green things drove me mad during lockdown.

My kitchen is tiny. I want a big kitchen so that I can prepare meals without having to move the 101 little bottles and knick knacks cluttering up the tiny kitchen counter. The outdoor cooking area is grimy and I’m always on guard for roaches.

Did I mention roaches? I’m not sure if it’s my apartment or the building itself, but I live in a roach motel, apparently. When I first moved back here from my wonderful, killer-view studio in Kuala Lumpur, I was surprised by how roach infested it was.

I found out in the rudest way possible: a cockroach crawled up my leg when I showered there on my first night.

Yes, now that you have that horror image firmly planted in your head, let me reiterate the absolute hate I have for my apartment.

Yet, I don’t move away. Why? Because I have a ridiculously good deal. I only pay RM250 a month to live there. Utilities included.

And yet, I don’t have to live like this! I can easily afford a fancy studio again if I want to.

And if I don’t want to rent, I can just take back my 3-bedroom apartment and live there.

After much wondering, I think my Scrooge-like ways with my apartment come down to one emotion: Fear.

When income became uncertain at the start of 2020, I was ever so glad for the cheap roof over my head and the extra income I got from renting out my apartment.

Even before that, I was in survival mode for many years. Sometimes you get so used to living in a state of emergency and scarcity that it has become a way of life. Also, my pursuit of FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) have warped my relationship with money. I keep saving for a better future … only to forget to live well in the present.

Invest in a healthy home

Having a comfortable, safe and relaxing home is one of the best ways to take care of yourself.

This became starkly apparent to me when I started my digital nomad experiment in Penang. The apartment I live in comes with two adorable cats, a relatively tidy space, no roaches (!) and most of all, a stunning view of the sea and forest from the balcony. (I’m pretty envious that my friend rents her beautiful digs for RM1300 a month! In Kuala Lumpur, you’d be lucky to find a grimy, run-down, walk-up apartment at that price.)

My stress has lowered considerably since living here. That’s what my Huawei Band 6 tells me, by the way. In my old apartment, my stress levels were constantly in the 54-57 range, which is the upper limit of “average stress levels”. Now, it’s usually around 33-45. I’ve never been able to maintain 33 before!

I’m sleeping better and I’m much happier. The cats are lovely companions, and I literally laugh at their antics every day. I’m managing work better, too. The stresses of the day job don’t seem as insurmountable when you no longer deal with a slew of stressors at home.

I cannot go back to the way things were.

Once I get home, I’m getting myself a nice place. Somewhere quiet, with minimalist interiors and a balcony.

I know I’m writing from a privileged position. Unfortunately, house prices and rent are stratospheric these days. Sometimes, you just have to get the next best thing instead of the ideal.

However, if you can afford it, invest in a home that will be a relaxing haven for you. Don’t let the pursuit of a financial goal block this. At least, not for too long. While we need to make sacrifices in order to get rid of debt or save money, our mental health is priceless.

In summary: If you’ve reached a comfortable financial state, don’t become a Scrooge! Be willing to invest in your well being 🙂