The past few weeks have been overwhelming for me, as I indicated in my post I am social media burned out. With work ramping up again after the Christmas holidays and having to prepare for Chinese New Year, life was not only a whirlwind, but somehow, I became consumed by social media.

From January 1st until now, I’ve been glued to my phone. It started with Weibo, catching up on drama surrounding a couple of actors, and then it spiraled into the red note migration—Little Red Book. I couldn’t tear myself away.

I actually wrote about this in my Substack. (I’ve been so busy I just didn’t copy my newsletter over to the blog as usual. Apologies, my friends!)

• The risky, scary business of Chinese entertainment (where I wrote about why I was consumed by my Weibo feed for the first half of January)
• TikTok refugees flee to ‘Red Note’

I tried to focus on work, but it was impossible. Social media just pulled me in and wouldn’t let go. It’s frustrating to feel so out of control, knowing full well that this isn’t good for me. I’ve been stuck in this cycle of endless scrolling, switching apps, and I can only tentatively say I’m emerging from my stupor only now.

Anyway, this time gave me another push to evaluate my usage of social media. By the way, I’m not one of those people who want to eliminate social media use altogether. It’s not sustainable to be 100% off social media.

Instead, I hope to get a more balanced way to interact with them.

English social media

One positive factor stands out for me: I do not use Meta products like Facebook, Instagram, or Threads. That’s like a lion’s share of commercial social media already.

This isn’t due to some grand ideological stance against billionaires or their companies. Malaysians are practical people—we use what serves us, and I’m the same. But the blunt truth is Meta platforms are useless, toxic and don’t serve me at all.

Facebook feels like a giant soap opera I didn’t sign up for. It bombards me with updates about acquaintances’ lives. Acquaintances that, if I were to be honest, I’m not particularly interested to know about, and who overshares way too much.

If Facebook was functional, there’d be an RSS feed for only the people or groups I actually care about. But no, it’s a mess of private lives, poorly moderated content, ugly ads. It takes precious cognitive power to sift through what really matters to me.

But in general, the whole point of the app is lost on me due to my personality. I don’t really want to know about other people’s lives. I’d much rather meet a friend over coffee than scroll through updates on their daily lives.

As for Instagram and Threads, I never found the appeal. Instagram’s visual bombardment overwhelms me, and Threads felt like just another platform throwing vile content my way. I’m only on Instagram to send one friend cat videos.

X? Well, I scroll my favourite follows since they’re still stubbornly there, but I barely am there because its toxicity is insane.

Tiktok? Never had an account. The brainrot content there destroys my brain and people whinge too much over there.

Reddit. Honestly, if I wasn’t the moderator of a subreddit, I would’ve been off that site ages ago. It’s incredibly toxic, full of racism and other awfulness. And as a moderator, while members are benefiting from my moderation, I get exposed to the worst of the worst. Trolls that harass you in DMs, spread rumours and cause trouble in the sub. I can’t wait for retirement.

I don’t interact with many subreddits. At most three at a time, and they are incredibly boring, geeky subs like r/ObsidianMD where the hottest ‘argument’ would be a discussion about folders vs no folders. Needless to say, I stay away from all political subs.

Substack Notes started off as a tolerable space, but now my “for you page” is filled with negativity, doomerism and far too many Americans complaining about everything. (It’s a very America-dominated platform and their favourite past time there is to rail against something I guess.) However, if you get off Notes and just dwell in the comment spaces of newsletters you follow, it gets better.

All in all, Substack remains a mixed bag. Sometimes, I find inspiring content. Other times, the feed floods me with mean-spirited posts, especially those filled racist, anti-China sentiments. (Sigh, the algorithm thinks that since I like content about China, sinophobic content is just fine.)

The biggest issue I have with all the commercial social media is that I can’t control the feed, and that lack of control makes it harder to fully enjoy.

There’s something inherently combative about Western social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. The people there often seem mean-spirited, and the overall experience feels hostile. Whether it’s endless complaints or offensive posts, English-speaking social media feels like it thrives on conflict.

Chinese social media

Xiao Hong Shu (Little Red Book) appeals to me with its focus on art, inspiration, and beauty. I also enjoy the occasional robust discussions between Americans and Chinese people since the migration happened. But there’s still toxicity. Despite what Americans think, not all Chinese people are nice, and some will make that known. But the good thing about XHS is that it has robust moderation (when you report someone for bad behaviour, they do take action. Also, the agorithm is very responsive.)

Weibo: China’s Twitter. Also toxic. Only saving grace is that I don’t have to endure Sinophobia and the moderation is stricter than the dumpster fire that is Twitter (or whatever it’s calling itself these days).

However, if you want to watch a mass of people (and bots) spreading rumours, cyber bullying and destroying careers and lives (and celebrating the aftermath) – it’s a great place to be!

But there’s no denying that Weibo is a great place to be if you want to see Chinese perspectives about international or Chinese news. The only way to manage Weibo healthily is to carefully curate your feed and follow the most civil content creators. (Though no guarantee the comments don’t get mean. They almost always do.)

I usually just use Weibo to see what’s trending in China (news). I avoid the Entertainment tab because this is where the most cyberbullying happens.

Social media that works and is good for your mental health

Mastodon
There’s Mastodon—my one saving grace in the chaotic world of social media. It’s peaceful, sane, and manageable—all because I can carefully cultivate my feed due to a series of filters to avoid content I consider toxic and to mute/block people that are hostile. The people I interact with are rational, and the small, curated community I’ve built brings me genuine joy.

I don’t care about having thousands of followers. For me, it’s about quality. The 20 or so people I follow are enough. Mastodon allows me to block or mute negativity effortlessly. It’s a haven where I feel in control.

This blog
Lately, I’ve been thinking more and more about retreating to my blog. I look at bloggers like Todd Tyrtle and Scalzi, who’ve turned their websites into their base of operations, and it inspires me. Mastodon makes it easy to blurt out thoughts, but there’s something satisfying about compiling those thoughts into structured blog posts where I can keep forever.

Maybe I can find a balance—posting spontaneously on Mastodon but revisiting and expanding those ideas on my blog, like I described in the blog post about the PESOS method of content management.

The only problem with blogs is that it’s very difficult for me to get people to really engage with me. Fortunately, wordpress.com has Mastodon connectivity, so there’s two-way communication.

Also thanks to dominance of content marketing blogs, blogs like mine are just hard to find. So until this changes, I’d have to continue ‘pushing’ my content to social media.