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I speak four languages. That’s just being Malaysian.
The first time I realised I had a superpower was when I was living in Australia.
I was at a party where there were mostly Malaysians and Australians, and a lady from China was there. She could only speak Mandarin, so I spoke to her in my not-so-good Mandarin, apologising for my subpar command of the language. She reassured me in the polite way Chinese people do when you’re trying your best but not hitting the mark.
Then, a friend from Malaysia came over, and I responded to her in a mix of Malay and English – Manglish, to most of us.
Then another person came over to talk to me, and I joked with her in Hokkien and then switched to English when her Aussie spouse came over.
When I returned to the lady from China, she remarked, “You Malaysians are so amazing!”
At first, I was confused, because I was just doing what many Malaysians do and take for granted – context-switching and adjusting my language to the person I’m speaking to.
Then she said, “You can speak Mandarin, you can speak English. I’m amazed that Malaysians can do this.”
This may sound like I’m humble bragging, but this was not the first time people said this to me. I’ve travelled around the world when I was younger, and I heard this often.
Once, in Japan, the guide and translator who accompanied us said that the Japanese people were intrigued by Malaysians due to our linguistic abilities. I had the same remark about Koreans from another tour guide when I visited Seoul.
I’m not sure if they’re flattering us Malaysians, but since both tour guides were originally Malaysians, maybe they were speaking the truth.
And I think, due to this flexibility, a lot of people are confused by Malaysians.
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Sad Stories of Asian People
There’s one section of the bookstore that I judiciously avoid.
I call it the “Sad Stories of Asian People” shelf.
I mean, I do like my periodic injections of Did you know how much we suffered as Asians in all our history or OMG being an Asian is hard in the modern world stories.
For one, I adore Su Tong’s novels, who wrote the novel behind the world-famous Zhang Yimou movie, Raise the Red Lantern.
And I mean, logically, I know there’s demand for it, especially overseas-born-Asians who have to wrestle with East vs West cultural pressures. But something about the West’s adoration of these novels has always rubbed me the wrong way.
What is it about these stories that Western publication houses love them so much they throw awards at it?
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Hello from a banana
So, theoretically, I’m a banana. Though, maybe half a banana.
Let me explain.
In Malaysia, we call Chinese people who cannot speak their native tongue a “banana”. (Yellow on the outside but white on the inside, get it??) Bananas are often looked at with disdain by Chinese who can speak and read Chinese.
Chinese people — those from Mainland China or the diaspora, fiercely cling to their culture and origins. Like, we are very aware that we are from this super ancient, 5,000-year-old civilisation, didn’t you know? Many of us still practice customs that are just as old, no matter how long our ancestors have left China.
So, if something negative is being said about China, we will feel it, even if we’ve never stepped foot in China. I find that an interesting thing because when the Western media began pumping out anti-China news, I began to feel really, really offended. Logically, I couldn’t comprehend it and thought something was wrong with me. But when I asked other Chinese folks who were born abroad, they felt the same.
But that issue is a topic for another day. However, this mindset will help you understand why I’m called a tropical fruit.
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My yearly negotiations with Mum about Chinese New Year cooking
The conversation almost always begins on Chinese New Year eve.
Me, in the morning, as I work as reluctant kitchen help: Mummy, seriously, can’t we just go to a restaurant and not cook for once?
Mummy, looking baffled at such a suggestion: How can I not cook? We have to pray!
Later in the evening, after slaving over the wok for hours, and producing a few days’ worth of food, Mummy: “Next year I will not cook anymore!”
Me: “That’s what you said last year.“
Mummy: “I will not cook next year! Tired already!”
Me: “You promise? Promise?!”
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Thoughts on Tucker Carlson’s interview with Vladmir Putin
While most people watched Chinese variety shows during Chinese New Year, I watched the Putin/Tucker interview. It is a two-hour interview and not for the casual viewer.
Here are my thoughts about the interview:
- The Russian history was probably needed, but could’ve been much shorter. Most US folks probably don’t know about it, and Putin was probably trying to reach out to them.
- I didn’t find Putin’s reasoning for the invasion convincing especially the denazification bits. It feels exaggerated. I am unconvinced and still think the invasion is wrong. Also, if we were to go by Putin’s reasoning, many countries have the right to lay claim to swaths of land that formerly belonged to them!
- Putin is very intelligent – I am surprised people are surprised by this. How did you think he stayed in power?
- Nordstream – it is also true most of the world, esp non-Western countries, suspect the US did it. Again surprised people are surprised by this.
- What Putin said about how the genesis of the Ukraine war has been echoed by a few geopolitical commentators in South-East Asia: Geopolitical incompetence and a bid to retain US hegemony.
- A lot of the things Putin said is not new to me. So, I am more interested in how the US officials and media are reacting. They’ve been super defensive.
- I surprisingly liked Tucker’s interview style here. US-media interview styles are annoying because they always insert their opinions and agendas in them, are leading and confrontational. They constantly interrupt their interviewees, are rude to them and obviously want to make themselves look “tough” rather than do actual journalism. Much of Western broadcast and print journalism has devolved into this farce, so I was amazed that Tucker, who is one of its greatest offenders, actually let Putin speak and didn’t interrupt. Too often journos liked the sound of their voices too much. 🙄 Context: I was trained by a Canadian interview expert so I know what’s good technique.
- Tucker did not seem to be prepared with the Russian history bits so can’t rebut/clarify Putin’s points, which is a pity. Apparently, while accurate, Putin has spun Russian history to fit his narrative.
Some people complain that we’re giving a platform to Putin’s propaganda. I find that a disturbing argument.
Beneath this remark is the assumption that the United States or the Western world doesn’t produce propaganda. What did you think the rest of the world have been getting? Of course, we get their version of propaganda!
As a member of “the rest of the world”, I was rather relieved to finally get to hear Putin’s side of the story, no matter how twisted and jarring it may seem because we’ve been only hearing one side of the story in the English media because the US and the West controls much of it.
After watching the Tucker Carlson interview, I decided to get a different view of Russian history. For that I turned to Konstantin Kissin, a popular political commentator and naturalised Brit originally from Russia:
And from a Russian Youtuber I follow — a younger and more liberal point of view:
Final thoughts
Some folks, mostly US Americans, I noticed, argued that Putin is not worth listening to because he’s obviously evil. I give them that freedom to ignore this interview.
However, I am disturbed by the degree of media illiteracy I’m seeing. People are:
- Only reading and watching journalists whose values they agree with.
- Dismissing information as propaganda, yet consume propaganda from media they approve of.
- Wanting a certain spin to the news that echoes their values rather than challenge them.
- Unable or unwilling to critically think through content that challenges their worldviews.
- Assuming those who do, belong to the “bad side”.
About the last point, I almost immediately received flak for even wanting to watch a Putin interview. Reply guys and gals lectured me about how evil he is (not realising, as a former world news editor, I’m pretty well caught up with his nefarious and shady actions) and how they will never watch anything about him (am not impressed by that declaration; they are essentially telling me they want to stay willfully ignorant.). Okay, I guess.
So much so that I had to write a toot that said: Don’t assume where I stand based on this toot. That would be very reductive and probably wrong.
It’s definitely exhausting to be on the Internet when interviews like Putin’s come along. If I was smarter, I’d stay out of it and just record my thoughts quietly on the blog. But I wanted to see what other people are saying, and sadly, the reaction by some folks are unsurprising. However, did have a good laugh with some who could see the grey like I do.
Perhaps there’s hope for the world after all.
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Chinese New Year auntie uncle time
Ah, Chinese New Year.
That time of the year when I beg my bosses if I could work so that I could give my parents a valid excuse to not visit relatives.
I used to work for a newspaper where they would gladly accept my offer (news never sleeps!), but one year my editor told me: “Eh, your mother better not come after me one day for making you work on Chinese New Year, okay?”
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The tools and courses I’m using to learn Mandarin (free and paid)
The last time I made a concerted effort to bump up my Mandarin skills was over 10 years ago. Back then I literally had to use physical flashcards and dictionaries. Let me tell you, it wasn’t the easiest thing to use an actual paper-based Chinese dictionary.
These days, we’re blessed to have so many tools to use! It has made learning Mandarin infinitely faster and easier. Here are the ones I’m using.
ℹ️As I’m what you consider a “heritage” speaker, my learning needs will be very different from those trying to learn Mandarin as a second language. You can read my previous post, Why I’m learning Mandarin in 2024 to understand what I mean.
Free apps
Pleco
Chinese digital dictionaryGoogle Lens
I use it to turn images of subtitles into text that I can plug into Pleco or Google Translate for translation or into my flashcards.Tofu Learn
(Contains free flashcards where you can learn Mandarin and other languages)The following Tofu Learn decks are helping me with learning and writing Chinese characters in the proper stroke order:
- Writing – Learn Fast
- 3000 most common Hanzi
Anki and AnkiDroid
Rote learning doesn’t work with me, but spaced repetition and flashcards really help me remember. Digital flashcard programs have been a gamechanger for me. (Remembers the physical flashcards I used to use and how I keep losing them 🥲) Initially, I used another app called Brainscape, but discovered that Anki is far more robust and free! (Though not as user friendly.) It also allows me to add audio to a flashcard, which is very important as I need to get the tones right.PS: Anki is the desktop version, and with AnkiDroid you can access the decks you create in Anki on your mobile.
Paid tools
Outlier dictionary
This paid dictionary breaks down a character and explains the origins of how the character came to be. Understanding this helps me remember the characters better for some reason.Paid course
Outlier Chinese Total Package
Includes two courses and an app in one:- Chinese Character Masterclass
- Dictionary
- Mandarin Pronunciation & Accent Masterclass
- Chinese Character Semantic Components Poster PDFs
Why did I choose the program? I’m primarily interested in the character masterclass, which teaches you how to memorise the characters in a logical way. Also, I find it helpful to memorise the components of a character first and see how they form a character. I did consider another programme originally, but that one had such a complicated memory system that I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it. For one, it has a mnemonic component for tones, which I do not have as much as a problem with as those with no background speaking tonal Chinese languages. In fact, I found it too complicated to add another layer of memorisation to it.
Podcasts
- ChinesePod – Beginner
- ChinesePod – Intermediate
I like these podcasts because they give you the transcript of the conversations in Chinese, English and hanyu pinyin. I find that I am mostly breezing through the Beginner podcasts, but there are a few words here and there that I do not know. For words that I do not know, I’ll plug it into Anki to create flashcards for them.
Photo by Cherry Lin on Unsplash
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Weekend Tales #4: My focus in 2024 is ‘beauty’
There’s so much beauty in the world, yet the Internet is full of rage.
That’s what I was thinking about when the whole Substack drama went down in early January. And this happened right after my own personal drama with Substack!
The whole thing made me exasperated, and I even considered leaving Substack at one point. Not to avoid Nazis, but to get away from the people screaming about Nazis.
It is also a big reason why I took so long to write this issue for you, dear reader. It is because I was so, so, so tempted to comment about it and add to the boiling pot of fury.
But what good is there to add to the existing outrage?
Take the photo above. Here’s a beautiful woman in Peking opera hanfu. There are so many beautiful things about China and her people. But all you see these days (in the Western media anyway) is hatred and sinophobia.
I’m exhausted by all the outrage, my friends. It seems like everyone is trying to rally someone to get angry about something, to other a platform, a person or nation. And some of you may feel like you need to because you’re not a bad person so as a good person you should be on their side.
But, but … what if we do the opposite? What if we put out messages of beauty instead of outrage?
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Why I am learning Mandarin in 2024
In Malaysia, language is often politicised, and among the Chinese diaspora, it is no different. Malaysian Chinese folks are divided into “English-educated*” and “Chinese-educated” groups.
(* English-educated can also mean that you went to a Malaysian national school, where the main language medium is Bahasa Malaysia. Many urban schools, however, have some classes in English. It’s confusing, I know, and it confuses us Malaysians too because they keep changing which subjects will be taught in English. Yes, this is why many Malaysians, especially if they are lucky enough to be in a multicultural school that has both English and Malay classes end up being multilingual. However, this is not always the case anymore, with some graduates getting into the workplace only knowing how to speak Malay or Mandarin only. I can write an essay about this lol.)
My parents were English-educated, meaning they went to English medium schools, so they learned everything in English. As a result, they only spoke English and Hokkien with me.
I’m an outlier in my family; I’m the only one who can speak and understand Mandarin and Hokkien (Penang, Northern version). My siblings can’t speak a jot of Mandarin and only a little bit of Hokkien.
Two reasons for this:
One, I’m highly motivated to learn Mandarin due to my interest in Chinese dramas and literature.
Two, an accident of geography: I was raised for a year in Penang with my grandma speaking to me exclusively in Hokkien. Then, my dad had to move to Johor Baru for work, and I spent my primary school years learning Mandarin from my friends. (The most prevalent Chinese dialect in the south of Malaysia.)
When I was 12, my family moved to Kuala Lumpur where the primary Chinese dialect was Cantonese. I gave up learning Cantonese because I was already struggling with Mandarin and Hokkien and adding another language felt overwhelming! Also, I saw no need to as we lived in an area where most people were speaking Penang Hokkien.
Still, as a “heritage” Mandarin speaker, I have some advantages.
One, I got the tones mostly down – so much so that my Shanghainese Chinese teacher remarked that I must’ve learned Mandarin when I was a kid (correct!). On top of that, I speak another tonal language – Hokkien, which has eight tones compared to Mandarin’s four tones. So, unlike English native speakers trying to learn Mandarin, the challenges of mastering a tonal language is lower for me.
However, my Mandarin skills are uneven:
Reading – HSK* 0.5 😅
Listening – Between HSK 4 and 5
Speaking – HSK 2*HSK stands for Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi, the Chinese proficiency test. I don’t plan to take the exam as I don’t plan to work in China, but it’s a good barometer to see where your proficiency is at.
My uneven and under-developed Mandarin fluency been a decades-long frustration for me. I know I can improve my Mandarin, but I didn’t have the right strategy or motivation to do so. Life does get in the way.
Why I’m motivated to learn now
In 2023, my motivation to learn Mandarin increased ten fold as I started to actively watch Chinese dramas again after a long break.
I quit Chinese dramas around the 2005 or so because it was difficult to access Chinese dramas in Mandarin. Due to Hong Kong’s TVB’s popularity then, most Chinese dramas were in Cantonese with Chinese subtitles. As I can’t read Chinese nor understand Cantonese, it became nigh impossible for me to follow the shows. So, I sadly quit, eventhough I longed to watch my wuxia dramas so much.
I returned to watching CDramas around 2015 or so when more Chinese dramas (especially those with English subs) became available on streaming platforms.
The more I watched, the more frustrated I became. If I watched Chinese dramas set in modern times, I could understand up to 70% of what was said, but it’s often the gist of what was said rather than word for word.
On top of that, I badly wanted to read the webnovels that many of these shows were based on and my reading level is zilch. As much as I want to read them, I know I’m years away from fluently reading even the most basic one, so I’m going to give myself a break.
Once upon a time, I took proper HSK classes. However, I soon became bored because HSK 1 was too basic for me and on top of that, I was learning to pass the exam rather than improve my fluency. I realised as a person with some basic foundation in Mandarin, I needed a different approach.
I tend to also be too ambitious with my goals, so I’m trying to take a more methodical and kinder approach to learning Mandarin this time around. So, I won’t try improve everything at once but improve on the area I want to improve the most.
As my aim is to watch Chinese dramas without subtitles, 2024’s goal is to focus on improving my vocabulary and listening skills and to bump it solidly to HSK 5. (Secretly, I hope to achieve HSK 6 level, but I’m trying to be realistic with myself.)
Bonus: Improve reading skills up to HSK 1.
My strategy to improve my listening skills
- Go through HSK 1-5 vocabulary and commonly Mandarin used words lists. There are currently gaps in my vocabulary, and I want to plug the gaps by looking through the HSK 1 to 5 vocabulary list and the 1000 most common Mandarin words.
- Identify words I’m not familiar with and enter them into my flashcards. I currently use Brainscape, though Anki appears to be far more popular. May explore that later.
- Review and revise every day for at least 10 minutes at a time.
- Continue to watch Chinese dramas to “soak in” the language and record words I am curious about into flashcards.
- Watch China Chinese dramas set in modern times with Chinese subtitles only. Why modern dramas? Unlike historical, wuxia or xianxia genres, modern dramas use everyday Mandarin, so they’re often “easier”. Historical dramas have more “Shakespearean” versions.
- Watch or listen to Malaysian/Singaporean Youtube or podcasts to “soak it in”. This is because Malaysian and Singaporean Mandarin is different than China’s. Our tones and word usage can be different. I don’t want to end up not understanding Malaysian Mandarin!
- Listen to Chinesepod and enter unfamiliar words into flashcards to remember them.
Photo by 五玄土 ORIENTO on Unsplash
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2023 Recap: Concepts and discoveries that made the year better for me
These are the concepts and ideas that have improved my life this year:
POSSE + Personal Knowledge Management + Obsidian = Writing 5x faster
I’ve long realised that I don’t write in a linear fashion. Meaning, my thoughts are chaos monkeys that flit from one topic to another, not following a flow or a timeline.
In the past, I’d wait for the right moment to organize my chaotic thoughts into a proper article. But I always end up staring at a blinking cursor, because these chaos monkeys have disappeared into another dimension. It took me so much longer to write articles this way, and it took a lot of brain power to do so.
A quick segue: The POSSE system is where you funnel all content from external sources into your website so that it becomes the single source of truth. I realised that I’ve been pumping so much of content into social media, and they often get lost or ignored. However, what if I repurpose them instead?
So, this year, I gathered all my thoughts and social media into my Obsidian vault.
And I found that blog posts or articles practically writes itself this way.
All I had to do was just do a light edit, shuffle a few blocks of content around, and wala, a blog post is created. No longer do I have to stare at a blinking cursor, trying hard to remember my ideas or thoughts, because I had exported it to my second brain – my Obsidian vault. This has resulted in much faster output.
I use this method to quickly write reviews for my Chinese and Korean drama blog, Drama Tea. While I have figured out how to do this for Chinese drama reviews, I’ve not quite figured out how to do so for more general articles like the one I write in this blog. But I think the same principles should apply.
I’m just a bit stumped on how to organise it in my Obsidian vault so that I can find it easier next time.
For the love of the Fediverse and Substack
I’ve never been happier and mentally healthier on social media, but I now have this problem again: I’m getting addicted to social media again 😅 This is reflected in the declining number of books I’m reading this year. I used to be able to read up to 100 books a year. This year, I barely reached 15. Gah! It’s not that I’m reading less, but I’m reading a lot more social media content, which includes blog posts. The Fediverse and Substack has enabled me to discover writing on newsletter and personal blogs, and it’s a beautiful place to be, reading the writing of average Joes and Janes rather than the anointed demigods of the publishing world.
Rekinidled my ❤ for #CDramas
I’ve been watching Chinese dramas since the 80s, but I stopped due to lack of access and also what I thought was declining quality in Chinese dramas. However, apps such as iQIYI, Viki and WETV, and ahem, third party sites, have reopened the doors for me, so 2023 was the year that I watched almost exclusively CDramas. It made me realise how much I missed watching and absorbing perspectives similar to mine and to revel in my Chinese roots.
I love Chinese Dramas so much this year that I started a blog and a podcast about it! Can you believe it? Yeah, I can’t either.
Technical writing
A friend, with perfectly good intentions said that I was wasting my writing talent writing user guides. But I feel like I’m now in my sweet spot, career- and creativity- wise. Technical writing gives me the opportunity to be exposed to one of my big loves – software and technology. I was that kid in school who learned BASIC and coded in her free time. It is very nice to blend that side of me with my writerly self.
Alternate Day Fasting and exercise consistency
Honestly, weight loss has been elusive to me. So much so that I’ve stopped making weight loss resolutions every year. But in 2023 I told myself that I had to lose the pandemic weight that I had gained. And I did, losing 6kg. The secret was consistency.
I started out super small, promising myself that I’ll walk 5000 steps a day. By the end of the year, I was walking 10000.
The intermittent fasting lifestyle has been great for me. Although I’ve not been as consistent with my fasting as with my exercise, I’m slowly understanding what I need to do to get there, so 2024 is all about being consistent with my exercise + fasting patterns. I hope to lose at least 50% of the 10kg I gained since 2018 due to work stress. Sigh.
Digital Gardens rekindled my ❤️ for blogging
I wrote about blogging the digital garden way previously. I used to treat my personal website like a content marketer, every post carefully crafted to attract leads that could improve my career or get freelance opportunities. However, it robbed me of a lot of joy. Now, I treat my personal website as my “digital home hub”. I’m much happier as a result.
Walking pads. Why did I wait so long to get one?
Since I heard about them, I wondered about getting one. I could walk on them while watching TV, for one. I was also having difficulties meeting my 7000 steps goal due to the weather being too hot or rainy. When Lazada had a sale and I spotted an RM350 walking pad, I bought it. But I had very little faith that it would work as it was so cheap. But in the end, it works, and I now complete 10,000 steps effortlessly.
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Elizabeth Tai 