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Hello from a banana

So, theoretically, I’m a banana. Though, maybe half a banana.
Let me explain.
In Malaysia, we call Chinese people who cannot speak their native tongue a “banana”. (Yellow on the outside but white on the inside, get it??) Bananas are often looked at with disdain by Chinese who can speak and read Chinese.
Chinese people — those from Mainland China or the diaspora, fiercely cling to their culture and origins. Like, we are very aware that we are from this super ancient, 5,000-year-old civilisation, didn’t you know? Many of us still practice customs that are just as old, no matter how long our ancestors have left China.
So, if something negative is being said about China, we will feel it, even if we’ve never stepped foot in China. I find that an interesting thing because when the Western media began pumping out anti-China news, I began to feel really, really offended. Logically, I couldn’t comprehend it and thought something was wrong with me. But when I asked other Chinese folks who were born abroad, they felt the same.
But that issue is a topic for another day. However, this mindset will help you understand why I’m called a tropical fruit.
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My yearly negotiations with Mum about Chinese New Year cooking

The conversation almost always begins on Chinese New Year eve.
Me, in the morning, as I work as reluctant kitchen help: Mummy, seriously, can’t we just go to a restaurant and not cook for once?
Mummy, looking baffled at such a suggestion: How can I not cook? We have to pray!
Later in the evening, after slaving over the wok for hours, and producing a few days’ worth of food, Mummy: “Next year I will not cook anymore!”
Me: “That’s what you said last year.“
Mummy: “I will not cook next year! Tired already!”
Me: “You promise? Promise?!”
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Thoughts on Tucker Carlson’s interview with Vladmir Putin
While most people watched Chinese variety shows during Chinese New Year, I watched the Putin/Tucker interview. It is a two-hour interview and not for the casual viewer.
Here are my thoughts about the interview:
- The Russian history was probably needed, but could’ve been much shorter. Most US folks probably don’t know about it, and Putin was probably trying to reach out to them.
- I didn’t find Putin’s reasoning for the invasion convincing especially the denazification bits. It feels exaggerated. I am unconvinced and still think the invasion is wrong. Also, if we were to go by Putin’s reasoning, many countries have the right to lay claim to swaths of land that formerly belonged to them!
- Putin is very intelligent – I am surprised people are surprised by this. How did you think he stayed in power?
- Nordstream – it is also true most of the world, esp non-Western countries, suspect the US did it. Again surprised people are surprised by this.
- What Putin said about how the genesis of the Ukraine war has been echoed by a few geopolitical commentators in South-East Asia: Geopolitical incompetence and a bid to retain US hegemony.
- A lot of the things Putin said is not new to me. So, I am more interested in how the US officials and media are reacting. They’ve been super defensive.
- I surprisingly liked Tucker’s interview style here. US-media interview styles are annoying because they always insert their opinions and agendas in them, are leading and confrontational. They constantly interrupt their interviewees, are rude to them and obviously want to make themselves look “tough” rather than do actual journalism. Much of Western broadcast and print journalism has devolved into this farce, so I was amazed that Tucker, who is one of its greatest offenders, actually let Putin speak and didn’t interrupt. Too often journos liked the sound of their voices too much. 🙄 Context: I was trained by a Canadian interview expert so I know what’s good technique.
- Tucker did not seem to be prepared with the Russian history bits so can’t rebut/clarify Putin’s points, which is a pity. Apparently, while accurate, Putin has spun Russian history to fit his narrative.
Some people complain that we’re giving a platform to Putin’s propaganda. I find that a disturbing argument.
Beneath this remark is the assumption that the United States or the Western world doesn’t produce propaganda. What did you think the rest of the world have been getting? Of course, we get their version of propaganda!
As a member of “the rest of the world”, I was rather relieved to finally get to hear Putin’s side of the story, no matter how twisted and jarring it may seem because we’ve been only hearing one side of the story in the English media because the US and the West controls much of it.
After watching the Tucker Carlson interview, I decided to get a different view of Russian history. For that I turned to Konstantin Kissin, a popular political commentator and naturalised Brit originally from Russia:
And from a Russian Youtuber I follow — a younger and more liberal point of view:
Final thoughts
Some folks, mostly US Americans, I noticed, argued that Putin is not worth listening to because he’s obviously evil. I give them that freedom to ignore this interview.
However, I am disturbed by the degree of media illiteracy I’m seeing. People are:
- Only reading and watching journalists whose values they agree with.
- Dismissing information as propaganda, yet consume propaganda from media they approve of.
- Wanting a certain spin to the news that echoes their values rather than challenge them.
- Unable or unwilling to critically think through content that challenges their worldviews.
- Assuming those who do, belong to the “bad side”.
About the last point, I almost immediately received flak for even wanting to watch a Putin interview. Reply guys and gals lectured me about how evil he is (not realising, as a former world news editor, I’m pretty well caught up with his nefarious and shady actions) and how they will never watch anything about him (am not impressed by that declaration; they are essentially telling me they want to stay willfully ignorant.). Okay, I guess.
So much so that I had to write a toot that said: Don’t assume where I stand based on this toot. That would be very reductive and probably wrong.
It’s definitely exhausting to be on the Internet when interviews like Putin’s come along. If I was smarter, I’d stay out of it and just record my thoughts quietly on the blog. But I wanted to see what other people are saying, and sadly, the reaction by some folks are unsurprising. However, did have a good laugh with some who could see the grey like I do.
Perhaps there’s hope for the world after all.
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Chinese New Year auntie uncle time

Ah, Chinese New Year.
That time of the year when I beg my bosses if I could work so that I could give my parents a valid excuse to not visit relatives.
I used to work for a newspaper where they would gladly accept my offer (news never sleeps!), but one year my editor told me: “Eh, your mother better not come after me one day for making you work on Chinese New Year, okay?”
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The tools and courses I’m using to learn Mandarin (free and paid)

The last time I made a concerted effort to bump up my Mandarin skills was over 10 years ago. Back then I literally had to use physical flashcards and dictionaries. Let me tell you, it wasn’t the easiest thing to use an actual paper-based Chinese dictionary.
These days, we’re blessed to have so many tools to use! It has made learning Mandarin infinitely faster and easier. Here are the ones I’m using.
ℹ️As I’m what you consider a “heritage” speaker, my learning needs will be very different from those trying to learn Mandarin as a second language. You can read my previous post, Why I’m learning Mandarin in 2024 to understand what I mean.
Free apps
Pleco
Chinese digital dictionaryGoogle Lens
I use it to turn images of subtitles into text that I can plug into Pleco or Google Translate for translation or into my flashcards.Tofu Learn
(Contains free flashcards where you can learn Mandarin and other languages)The following Tofu Learn decks are helping me with learning and writing Chinese characters in the proper stroke order:
- Writing – Learn Fast
- 3000 most common Hanzi
Anki and AnkiDroid
Rote learning doesn’t work with me, but spaced repetition and flashcards really help me remember. Digital flashcard programs have been a gamechanger for me. (Remembers the physical flashcards I used to use and how I keep losing them 🥲) Initially, I used another app called Brainscape, but discovered that Anki is far more robust and free! (Though not as user friendly.) It also allows me to add audio to a flashcard, which is very important as I need to get the tones right.PS: Anki is the desktop version, and with AnkiDroid you can access the decks you create in Anki on your mobile.
Paid tools
Outlier dictionary
This paid dictionary breaks down a character and explains the origins of how the character came to be. Understanding this helps me remember the characters better for some reason.Paid course
Outlier Chinese Total Package
Includes two courses and an app in one:- Chinese Character Masterclass
- Dictionary
- Mandarin Pronunciation & Accent Masterclass
- Chinese Character Semantic Components Poster PDFs
Why did I choose the program? I’m primarily interested in the character masterclass, which teaches you how to memorise the characters in a logical way. Also, I find it helpful to memorise the components of a character first and see how they form a character. I did consider another programme originally, but that one had such a complicated memory system that I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it. For one, it has a mnemonic component for tones, which I do not have as much as a problem with as those with no background speaking tonal Chinese languages. In fact, I found it too complicated to add another layer of memorisation to it.
Podcasts
- ChinesePod – Beginner
- ChinesePod – Intermediate
I like these podcasts because they give you the transcript of the conversations in Chinese, English and hanyu pinyin. I find that I am mostly breezing through the Beginner podcasts, but there are a few words here and there that I do not know. For words that I do not know, I’ll plug it into Anki to create flashcards for them.
Photo by Cherry Lin on Unsplash
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Why I am learning Mandarin in 2024

In Malaysia, language is often politicised, and among the Chinese diaspora, it is no different. Malaysian Chinese folks are divided into “English-educated*” and “Chinese-educated” groups.
(* English-educated can also mean that you went to a Malaysian national school, where the main language medium is Bahasa Malaysia. Many urban schools, however, have some classes in English. It’s confusing, I know, and it confuses us Malaysians too because they keep changing which subjects will be taught in English. Yes, this is why many Malaysians, especially if they are lucky enough to be in a multicultural school that has both English and Malay classes end up being multilingual. However, this is not always the case anymore, with some graduates getting into the workplace only knowing how to speak Malay or Mandarin only. I can write an essay about this lol.)
My parents were English-educated, meaning they went to English medium schools, so they learned everything in English. As a result, they only spoke English and Hokkien with me.
I’m an outlier in my family; I’m the only one who can speak and understand Mandarin and Hokkien (Penang, Northern version). My siblings can’t speak a jot of Mandarin and only a little bit of Hokkien.
Two reasons for this:
One, I’m highly motivated to learn Mandarin due to my interest in Chinese dramas and literature.
Two, an accident of geography: I was raised for a year in Penang with my grandma speaking to me exclusively in Hokkien. Then, my dad had to move to Johor Baru for work, and I spent my primary school years learning Mandarin from my friends. (The most prevalent Chinese dialect in the south of Malaysia.)
When I was 12, my family moved to Kuala Lumpur where the primary Chinese dialect was Cantonese. I gave up learning Cantonese because I was already struggling with Mandarin and Hokkien and adding another language felt overwhelming! Also, I saw no need to as we lived in an area where most people were speaking Penang Hokkien.
Still, as a “heritage” Mandarin speaker, I have some advantages.
One, I got the tones mostly down – so much so that my Shanghainese Chinese teacher remarked that I must’ve learned Mandarin when I was a kid (correct!). On top of that, I speak another tonal language – Hokkien, which has eight tones compared to Mandarin’s four tones. So, unlike English native speakers trying to learn Mandarin, the challenges of mastering a tonal language is lower for me.
However, my Mandarin skills are uneven:
Reading – HSK* 0.5 😅
Listening – Between HSK 4 and 5
Speaking – HSK 2*HSK stands for Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi, the Chinese proficiency test. I don’t plan to take the exam as I don’t plan to work in China, but it’s a good barometer to see where your proficiency is at.
My uneven and under-developed Mandarin fluency been a decades-long frustration for me. I know I can improve my Mandarin, but I didn’t have the right strategy or motivation to do so. Life does get in the way.
Why I’m motivated to learn now
In 2023, my motivation to learn Mandarin increased ten fold as I started to actively watch Chinese dramas again after a long break.
I quit Chinese dramas around the 2005 or so because it was difficult to access Chinese dramas in Mandarin. Due to Hong Kong’s TVB’s popularity then, most Chinese dramas were in Cantonese with Chinese subtitles. As I can’t read Chinese nor understand Cantonese, it became nigh impossible for me to follow the shows. So, I sadly quit, eventhough I longed to watch my wuxia dramas so much.
I returned to watching CDramas around 2015 or so when more Chinese dramas (especially those with English subs) became available on streaming platforms.
The more I watched, the more frustrated I became. If I watched Chinese dramas set in modern times, I could understand up to 70% of what was said, but it’s often the gist of what was said rather than word for word.
On top of that, I badly wanted to read the webnovels that many of these shows were based on and my reading level is zilch. As much as I want to read them, I know I’m years away from fluently reading even the most basic one, so I’m going to give myself a break.
Once upon a time, I took proper HSK classes. However, I soon became bored because HSK 1 was too basic for me and on top of that, I was learning to pass the exam rather than improve my fluency. I realised as a person with some basic foundation in Mandarin, I needed a different approach.
I tend to also be too ambitious with my goals, so I’m trying to take a more methodical and kinder approach to learning Mandarin this time around. So, I won’t try improve everything at once but improve on the area I want to improve the most.
As my aim is to watch Chinese dramas without subtitles, 2024’s goal is to focus on improving my vocabulary and listening skills and to bump it solidly to HSK 5. (Secretly, I hope to achieve HSK 6 level, but I’m trying to be realistic with myself.)
Bonus: Improve reading skills up to HSK 1.
My strategy to improve my listening skills
- Go through HSK 1-5 vocabulary and commonly Mandarin used words lists. There are currently gaps in my vocabulary, and I want to plug the gaps by looking through the HSK 1 to 5 vocabulary list and the 1000 most common Mandarin words.
- Identify words I’m not familiar with and enter them into my flashcards. I currently use Brainscape, though Anki appears to be far more popular. May explore that later.
- Review and revise every day for at least 10 minutes at a time.
- Continue to watch Chinese dramas to “soak in” the language and record words I am curious about into flashcards.
- Watch China Chinese dramas set in modern times with Chinese subtitles only. Why modern dramas? Unlike historical, wuxia or xianxia genres, modern dramas use everyday Mandarin, so they’re often “easier”. Historical dramas have more “Shakespearean” versions.
- Watch or listen to Malaysian/Singaporean Youtube or podcasts to “soak it in”. This is because Malaysian and Singaporean Mandarin is different than China’s. Our tones and word usage can be different. I don’t want to end up not understanding Malaysian Mandarin!
- Listen to Chinesepod and enter unfamiliar words into flashcards to remember them.
Photo by 五玄土 ORIENTO on Unsplash
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Year-end reflections and how I do them

In the last week of every year, I usually hole myself in a hotel or villa and reflect on the year that is about to end and prepare for the new one. I’m lucky to work for companies that have mandatory year-end leave, so I use that time to great effect.
Here is an idea of how to do your own year-end reflection so that you can start 2024 on the right foot.
Day 1: Evaluate the year that is about to end
Look at the following categories:
- Health
- Career
- Creative pursuits
- Relationships
- Spirituality
Ask yourself:
- How did you fare in each category?
- What can be improved?
- If you’ve set goals for each, did you achieve your goals? If you have achieved them, what is the secret to your success? If you have not, what hindered you?
- Flip through your diaries or journals and take note of events that really stood out for you.
Day 2: Reflect on the discoveries that you’ve made for the year
What new concept, product or idea changed your life for the better? How did it improve your life and how can you improve on it for the new year?
Day 3: Think about the goals you want to achieve in the new year
Preferably one goal per category:
- Health
- Career
- Creative pursuits
- Relationships
- Spirituality
They should also be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound (SMART) goals that you can measure.
For example, if your ultimate desired outcome is to “get fit”, create a SMART goal that can get you there.
For example, “Maintain a consistent workout schedule of 10,000 steps of walking a day by Q1 2024” is something you can track and measure.
Day 3: Alternatively, perhaps do a “Depth Year” where you finish unfinished projects
What are the projects that you’ve shelved for a long time and how do you want to achieve them?
Day 4 and 5: Clean slate activities
- Clean your desktop computer of old files and reorganize files
- Clean your home, purge or donate old clothes, sell things
- Look through your work projects and list down tasks that still needs to be actioned
- Complete DIY projects around the house
- Go through your fridge and throw out expired food
Do you do year-end reflections? If so, how do you do yours? Ideas are always welcomed.
Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash


